Bastion — The Narrator Who Never Shuts Up

It’s a nice game… I suppose

There was a time when I thought that every game developer was aspiring to become something special with an innovative/revolutionary game to present to the world. For a moment, it almost seemed like it, but it stopped because I got a clue about the true nature of the video game industry, which is mostly a cynical business model… well, at least investors see it that way. But that time of mass discovery of all kinds of games and their intricate mechanics… was the early 2010s. That period was difficult for me, but I found distraction in video games between the hardships. This feels a lot like something I might’ve said before, but a game that came out then, I only started playing now, and that game is Bastion.

I remember hearing about Bastion when it came out, but for some reason never had the opportunity to play it until now, and quite frankly, the game is very much representative of all the good things said about it. I especially like how every time the protagonists moves to a new area, the place materialises by having its pieces fall from the sky and slowly construct the land. But yeah, it’s a good game.

As for the story, I’m not sure yet, but from what I deduce, it speaks of a land that was struck by a cataclysm, so it’s up to the hero, known only as “The Kid”, to rebuild the land. I suppose the premise isn’t much, but the best thing about this game is the ever-present narrator who delivers commentary of the events unfolding in the game in a masculine raspy voice that makes the adventures of the Kid slightly less lonely. But of course, much like every game with an epic narrator, there is only one per game… but what if there were many (have I talked about this before?)

Imagine if this game was narrated by Clint Eastwood

As a start, you could say that the issue is unless you knew English, you wouldn’t be able to enjoy the narrator’s delivery fully because that voice is as buttery as it gets (almost as sexy as my voice, which would be heard if I wasn’t a writer). But that’s a trivial matter, as the phonetics themselves are something to lo and enjoy.

But the real issue is that there isn’t a plethora of narrators to choose from, each with a more or less buttery voice. I tackled this before, and I want to address it again. After this game, I realised that there could be so many audible chocolates to choose from (I’d happily contribute my voice given the opportunity), not too many, of course. If celebrities could contribute their voices to manifest as an awesome narrator just like the one in Bastion, then I would recommend Morgan Freeman, Christopher Walken, Clint Eastwood, and especially Gilbert Gottfried… ok maybe not the last one, but he would really work if the game had a lot of comedy in it… which it doesn’t.

Of course, since it will be only flavour, I don’t know the probability is of any game adapting such a feature. I don’t know how many people are interested in something like this… But wishful thinking, I guess.

There definitely need to be more narrators

I already established that, but what more is there to add?

Well, I suppose you could say that you could create a spectrum of differently sounding voices, not just those that are buttery and funny. I already mentioned Gilbert Gottfried as an example of a narrator that would work in a comedy game, but not something where the entire world is destroyed, and everyone turned to statues.

But just male voices? There should also be female voices. Unfortunately, I don’t know of any notable female voices that could work as a narrator. You have something for that, tell me how…

How many narrators do you want?

I assume that most people won’t mind with any number of narrators since they probably won’t notice the difference, or maybe just most people would suffice for one, unlike yours truly. Do you suffice for just a single narrator, or are you like me, who wants to hear different sexy celebrity voices delivered in a video game with awesome one-liners like the one in Bastion (note to self: look up the voice actor for the narrator in Bastion). In any case, be sure to tell what you thought of the game, the narrator, the possibility for many narrators, or frankly, just any other detail you might’ve noticed in the game.

In Conclusion…

Bastion is a surprisingly good game, and I wish I played ten years ago when it was the right time to play it. If you haven’t tried it out yet, then do so because you don’t know what you’re losing.

As for how many narrators… I don’t think that too many people care about such a possibility. However, it would be interesting to record different narrators and then sell them as microtransactions. At least this way, producers won’t have to worry about losing money… I think. I don’t know too much, but I still want a game with multiple narrators because that would be awesome.

In any case, I think I’ll continue to play Bastion because, once again, it is a surprisingly good game, and I keep wondering how I didn’t play this when it came out.




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Jeffrey McGee

Jeffrey McGee

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